family

I still have a cold. I guess all that zinc and vitamin C I ingested did nothing but delay the onset? I felt mildly unwell for a while, but then the last three days have been horrible. Hopefully I'm on my way to recovery now. This is getting really old.

Anyway, I wanted to write about a minor achievement, if achievement is even the right word for it. It feels like it to me. About a month ago, I told my older sister about my phobia.

Technically, this is the second time I've attempted to share this with a family member. When I was 13, I told my mom about it. I gave her the name, explained it as best I could. We had a conversation about it. I don't remember much of the conversation, but I know it lasted for a while, and I remember my mom doing a lot of nodding. My parents are not equipped to deal with mental issues of any kind, so I should have known better. Nothing bad came out of it, but nothing good did either. My mom never mentioned it again. The next day, it was as if the conversation had never happened, and I was not willing to "remind" her. So to be honest, I am not sure if she actually forgot or just didn't want to deal with it. I'm sure she has forgotten by now.

I had a series of failed attempts to communicate with various family members. That wasn't the first or the last. Eventually I gave up and then became uncomfortable at the thought of sharing anything the slightest bit personal with any one of them.

But I decided to mention the phobia to my older sister, and I actually got a legitimate decent response. She was nice about it and said that she knew someone else who had the same phobia, and then she told me one of her own fears.

I know I shouldn't be as surprised as I am. It's like I am always expecting the same family dynamic that existed when I was a child/teenager, but my siblings and I are all adults now. Obviously things would be different and better. Which is awesome. I really like the idea of not having to hide everything about myself.