list of self-help books

I'm pretty sure I've talked about all of these books before in other posts, but I thought it might be helpful to have them all listed in one place.

If you're not able to get any of these, please check out this post where I linked to some great free websites that help guide you through anxiety-fighting techniques.

1) The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook - Edmund J. Bourne

If you can only buy one book from this list, this should be the one you get. In my opinion, it is the best book on anxiety out there. It covers so many different skills, techniques, and exercises. It has information on all the different anxiety disorders, anxiety-related research, types of medication, good nutrition and exercise habits, etc.

The only downfall is that if you're in the middle of an anxiety crisis, the amount of information it contains can be a little overwhelming. If you are feeling overwhelmed, I wouldn't sit down and read through the entire book all at once. It is more manageable one chapter at a time. Each one gives you so much to think about that it is probably better to take breaks anyway, just to let it all sink in.

2) Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Workbook for Dummies - Rhena Branch and Rob Willson

This book was very helpful for me. I was new to trying any kind of CBT work, and it lays out the methods in simple, easy to understand ways. It has tons of exercises to work through (charts to fill out, questions to answer) to understand the faulty/irrational ways you think/act and to help you correct those thoughts and behaviors. It also includes chapters on using CBT to help with depression, low self-esteem, maintaining relationships. I skipped most of that and only worked through the anxiety-focused chapters.

3) Get Out of Your Mind & Into Your Life - Steven C. Hayes and Spencer Smith

I've been meaning to take a second look at this one. I really didn't care for it when I started working through it the first time. It focuses on acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and I am a much bigger fan of CBT than ACT. ACT teaches that rather than trying to control your thoughts, you should just accept them and learn to live your life with the anxiety (or other unpleasant emotional pain), still doing everything you want to despite the problems you have.

For one thing, I feel it is possible to control your thoughts and change your behaviors. It's extremely difficult, but I have seen it happen in small ways with myself. For another thing, when it comes to emetophobia, I get confused as to how you can just accept it the way it is and push yourself to live your life. But I don't think I got far enough in the book to be able to say I fully understand their method.

4) Living with Emetophobia: Coping with Extreme Fear of Vomiting - Nicolette Heaton-Harris

I wrote a detailed post about this book after I read it. To summarize, I feel it is a helpful book if you are looking for validation of your issue, a detailed description of your problem and everything you have to deal with, or if you want someone else to understand and you are looking for a book to explain emetophobia to them. The book is about the author's experience of living with emetophobia, and if you have emetophobia too, it's likely you'll relate to most of it. It's also likely that there are some anxiety thoughts that the author has but you don't have, and the book could be triggering in that sense. You could end up acquiring new anxiety thoughts/behaviors, so I would be careful when reading this one, if you decide to.

5) The Miracle of Mindfulness - Thich Nhat Hanh

This book is an in-depth look at meditation and mindfulness, two techniques that can be helpful in fighting anxiety. There is also a lot of Buddhism in the book. I'm not a very religious or spiritual person. But you can skim past those parts. I would say probably the best part of the book is near the end, the section called "Exercises in Mindfulness". There is also a section after that called "Selection of Buddhist Sutras" - both of these sections can give you ideas to help with meditation or mindfulness.

6) Overcoming Health Anxiety - Rob Willson and David Veale

This book is similar to the CBT workbook for dummies. It walks you through CBT techniques and exercises, only in this book it specifically applies them to health anxiety. I have a lot of general health anxiety on top of emetophobia, so I found it really helpful.

The book also contains a chapter dedicated to emetophobia. I didn't think that chapter was as helpful as the rest of the book. I would say the same thing about it as the Living with Emetophobia book described above - it is a good description of emetophobia, but it could be triggering and give you more things to worry about that you hadn't been worrying about before. It had that effect on me, but luckily, by now I think I've forgotten all the new worries it gave me. If I was reading the book over now, I would just skip that chapter. The exercises in the rest of the book can be applied to emetophobia as well as any other health anxiety.

7) Freedom from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder - Jonathan Grayson

I don't have OCD, but during the time period where my anxiety was the worst, I started having a bunch of horrible intrusive thoughts/obsessions that bothered me even more than my emetophobia. I bought this to try to figure out how to deal with those, and it is an amazing book. I would actually recommend it to anyone with an anxiety problem, even if it's not OCD.

The premise of the book is that for people with OCD (and I would say any anxiety disorder), their main problem is that they are unable to accept uncertainty in life. This is so true for me, and it's something I've thought about frequently ever since reading this. So if I was worrying I was sick, instead of telling myself that it is extremely unlikely that I will get sick and in CBT-fashion using logic to try to prove that, I would tell myself "you might get sick, and you should deal with that possibility because the alternative of not being able to deal with it is ruining your life." I suppose it might be similar to ACT (acceptance of anxiety versus fighting it), but the way the author related it all to the fear of uncertainty made so much more sense to me. The book also focuses on exposure and response prevention, or exposing yourself to your fears and then preventing yourself from engaging in irrational behaviors as a result.

Just a warning, a large chunk of the book deals with specific OCD problems, like checking, counting, etc., and if you don't have those issues, there is probably no need for you to read any of that. I felt the rest of it was worth getting through those (for me) unnecessary sections.                

eating healthy

It seems to be a trend that people with emetophobia are not the healthiest eaters. Which is funny, since we spend so much time and effort trying to avoid getting sick and thinking about how we can stay healthy.

But really, it does make sense. If you are anxious about food and want to find the "safest" thing, the thing that will be least likely to impact your stomach or digestive system in any way, the thing that you feel is the least dirty, germy, or unusual - you usually won't go for fruits and vegetables. Those apples that you have to examine before buying and wash before eating are going to seem like the worse choice compared to some sterile standardized package of chips or crackers. Especially when you want something that won't make you feel anything in your stomach. Healthy foods tend to have fiber, which usually will make you feel something, even more so if you're not used to consuming it on a regular basis.

Of course, we all know it's best to eat those fruits and vegetables and that having a diet consisting almost entirely of bland carbs is a bad idea. We should feel our stomachs sometimes! We can't always have them be "turned off" and quiet like we want, or it's likely we will run into health issues later on.

I have always been such an unhealthy eater, and this has been a hard habit to change. Every single year I have made the new year's resolution to eat healthier, or eat more fruits/vegetables, or eat less junk food, or some other variation of that. And every year I would make it about a month before giving up on my resolution.

Until this year when I have actually stuck with my resolution so far, and it has been over four months! A major accomplishment for me, so I thought I'd share how I accomplished it in case it was helpful to anyone else who is having trouble in this area.

First of all, I aimed lower than I usually do. I always want to fix things all at once, immediately, but that really never works out. Most change has to happen slowly, with little steps. So I did not make the usual attempt to eat as healthy as I should be (in other words, to have several servings of fruits/vegetables every day). My goal for this year was to eat one serving of fruit/vegetables each day. Just one serving. And I have stuck with it so far. Which may not seem like much of an achievement, really, but it is the best I have ever done consistently. It is finally a sign of moving in the right direction.

Second, I tried to make the goal more fun by assigning a fruit/vegetable or group of fruits/vegetables to each month that I would focus on eating above all others. Right around the time I start to get sick of one, a new month starts and I am pepped up by the new fruit/vegetable of the month and feel dedicated to my goal again. I'm including my list below. I tried to arrange it based on what is best/freshest in my area around that time.

It's been working out really well, even if I don't eat the fruit/vegetable of the month that often. For example, last month, I didn't feel like cooking brussels sprouts most of the time, so I continued to eat bananas. But just the idea of the brussels sprouts being spot-lighted - the idea that I could try out different brussels sprouts recipes if I wanted to, figure out several different ways to make them delicious - kept me motivated.

• January - lettuce and salad mixes
• February - bananas
• March - brussels sprouts
• April - broccoli, peppers, and onions
• May - "mix it up" month (a chance to eat the fruits/vegetables that aren't represented in the rest of the list because they're not my favorites - carrots, cauliflower, grapes, oranges)
• June - plums, squash
• July - berries
• August - nectarines, peaches, and apricots
• September - tomatoes, avocadoes, and cucumbers
• October - apples
• November - spinach
• December - clementines