CYEAT: Chapter 10

I don’t have much to say on this chapter other than it seems weirdly out of place. It probably would have made a better Chapter 1 or even part of the Introduction.

It discusses what the terms “anxiety” and “stress” mean in detail and the differences between them. Basically this boils down to: anxiety relates more to mental worries (thoughts and emotions), stress relates more to your body’s physiological responses to a perceived threat. Either one can cause the other, and sometimes the words are used interchangeably. Anxiety can be about something in the present moment, or it can be “anticipatory anxiety” - worrying about something in the future (and building it up in your mind so that it does end up being scarier than if you hadn’t worried about it for weeks beforehand).

It’s all a giant feedback loop. If you worry about something and tell yourself it is (or will be) terrible, you become more anxious and stressed. As you become more anxious and stressed, you worry about it more. You may worry so much that you can’t sleep. Not sleeping causes even more stress build-up because your body is not as equipped to deal with it. Stress plus this lack of bodily care can lead to you getting physically sick, which leads to more anxiety and stress (especially for emetophobics). Etc.

If you can intervene in the cycle and try to minimize the effects, it will help in all the other areas too. Fighting your negative thoughts lowers your anxiety, makes it more likely you will get a good night’s sleep, meaning you will be more able to handle the next day’s stress and will stay healthier.

avoidance behavior

I've been avoiding leaving the house a little more than usual because I keep hearing about people I know having stomach viruses. I hate that I'm doing this. I know it's bad for my anxiety, and it's not protecting me the way I imagine or hope it is.

First of all, most of these people live in other states. They are posting about being sick on Facebook, and even though they are hundreds of miles away, I'm still worried. So of course I know logically that makes no sense.

Second, I don't live alone. Any excessive germ-avoidance behavior I engage in doesn't really matter, because my wife is normal and still behaving in her normal way. One of my most important rules, if not the most important, is that I don't allow myself to control her behavior or suggest that she do things the irrational way that I do them. Because it's just wrong. Wrong to try to control someone in general, wrong also to try to encourage someone to engage in unhealthy behavior. But I can't even say I've been doing a good job with this rule lately, because I asked her the other day if she was being careful at work about avoiding sick people.

Third, even though it appears to me that stomach viruses are everywhere right now and then magically will go away with the warm weather, that's not true. They are always around, year-round. They are always around whether I hear about them or not, whether people I know have them or not. There is no reason to take any extra precautions right now.

One of the things I think emetophobics forget a lot of the time is that we have immune systems. We rarely factor that in when we're trying to figure out how "at risk" we think we are. In all likelihood, we're exposed to stomach viruses and other illnesses much more than even we could imagine, and our bodies fight them off. That's what is supposed to happen, and it happens most when we're taking care of ourselves. Eating healthy, getting enough sleep, exercising are all important, of course, but aside from those, it's important to lower stress as much as possible. Stress affects the immune system. In other words, working to fight anxiety related to this phobia, working to stay as calm as possible, is protection itself from physical illness.

So that is my thought for the week. Trust the immune system! It knows what it's doing. It's working hard for me, and that takes some of the pressure off. I don't have to work as hard or worry as much as I do.

I did have a very successful day yesterday. I was supposed to go somewhere in the morning. I woke up feeling "sick" and almost backed out of it. I wasn't even feeling as "sick" as I have on other days when I've still gone places. I have just been overreacting because of the references to stomach viruses I have seen. Anyway, I made myself go, and I started to feel better and ended up having a great time. I am sure if I had backed out of it, I would have ended the day feeling moody, knowing I had missed out on something fun because of anxiety, and instead I got to end the day feeling happy and reflecting on the memories of the fun I had.

Emetophobia shmemetophobia!