Sunday, February 17, 2013

avoidance behavior

I've been avoiding leaving the house a little more than usual because I keep hearing about people I know having stomach viruses. I hate that I'm doing this. I know it's bad for my anxiety, and it's not protecting me the way I imagine or hope it is.

First of all, most of these people live in other states. They are posting about being sick on Facebook, and even though they are hundreds of miles away, I'm still worried. So of course I know logically that makes no sense.

Second, I don't live alone. Any excessive germ-avoidance behavior I engage in doesn't really matter, because my wife is normal and still behaving in her normal way. One of my most important rules, if not the most important, is that I don't allow myself to control her behavior or suggest that she do things the irrational way that I do them. Because it's just wrong. Wrong to try to control someone in general, wrong also to try to encourage someone to engage in unhealthy behavior. But I can't even say I've been doing a good job with this rule lately, because I asked her the other day if she was being careful at work about avoiding sick people.

Third, even though it appears to me that stomach viruses are everywhere right now and then magically will go away with the warm weather, that's not true. They are always around, year-round. They are always around whether I hear about them or not, whether people I know have them or not. There is no reason to take any extra precautions right now.

One of the things I think emetophobics forget a lot of the time is that we have immune systems. We rarely factor that in when we're trying to figure out how "at risk" we think we are. In all likelihood, we're exposed to stomach viruses and other illnesses much more than even we could imagine, and our bodies fight them off. That's what is supposed to happen, and it happens most when we're taking care of ourselves. Eating healthy, getting enough sleep, exercising are all important, of course, but aside from those, it's important to lower stress as much as possible. Stress affects the immune system. In other words, working to fight anxiety related to this phobia, working to stay as calm as possible, is protection itself from physical illness.

So that is my thought for the week. Trust the immune system! It knows what it's doing. It's working hard for me, and that takes some of the pressure off. I don't have to work as hard or worry as much as I do.

I did have a very successful day yesterday. I was supposed to go somewhere in the morning. I woke up feeling "sick" and almost backed out of it. I wasn't even feeling as "sick" as I have on other days when I've still gone places. I have just been overreacting because of the references to stomach viruses I have seen. Anyway, I made myself go, and I started to feel better and ended up having a great time. I am sure if I had backed out of it, I would have ended the day feeling moody, knowing I had missed out on something fun because of anxiety, and instead I got to end the day feeling happy and reflecting on the memories of the fun I had.

Emetophobia shmemetophobia!

6 comments:

  1. I'm glad you went out despite not feeling too great beforehand. It is so much nicer to return home feeling glad you went through with something, that sit there dwelling on what you wanted to do.

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    1. So true! I've had that feeling of regret/frustration many times and definitely try to keep it in mind when making these decisions.

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  2. thats good you are able to realize & identify non-standard behavior and take measures against it! It would be much easier to just rationalize the way you act differently in certain situations.

    Re stomach flu I believe that I had to "consume the germs" to get sick so that means for me I just pay attention my hands dont get close to my mouth & face (thats also good for my make-up:-) and before eating I wash my hands (or use antibacterial gel when I am outside). The other stuff is responsibility of immune system as you have told :-)

    Btw I just bought the Anxiety and phobia workbook which you recommended, I am looking forward for the delivery :-)

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    1. You're right about consuming the germs. I usually don't think about that. I know it's true, but my paranoia takes over and makes me worry I could be contaminated a hundred other impossible ways.

      I'm so glad you bought that book! It's amazing. I haven't looked at my copy in a while and have been thinking about pulling it out again. Books help keep me focused and motivated.

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  3. I am reflecting on how you have a rule not to control others in your household with the emet-ish rules you have for yourself. I feel that I should personally abide by that as well, since I tend to nag my husband to wash his hands and "be careful" at work too. It seems like you have a rational hold over your anxiety and worries... that is great! I am personally trying to get there myself and not use "feeling sick" as an excuse to not go out and do things... it is so easy to cave in to that!

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    1. Thanks :) I try really hard to stay rational. I have to admit that I still break most of my rules pretty frequently. But I know I am definitely making progress, even if it's very slow progress.

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