Saturday, October 22, 2011

road trip

In a month, we're going to be taking a trip to Virginia to visit family. We'll be driving, and the drive down there takes about 12-14 hours. I'm starting to get really nervous about it. The last time we took a road trip, it was to a city about three hours away. I had a horrible anxiety attack during the drive, and the stress of it not only ruined the trip, but it stayed with me for months even after getting back home.

As a test run, we are taking another smaller trip this weekend to upstate Vermont. This drive will only be one and a half to two hours, nowhere near the length of the VA drive, so maybe it isn't the most challenging test run possible, but that's probably a good thing. I think what I really need is some confidence-boosting, and hopefully this is small and easy enough that it will be a complete success. Plus we're going to be eating breakfast once we get there, in a diner that I've never been to before, so that will make the whole experience a little scarier. My goals are to eat a small snack before we leave, eat a normal-sized breakfast at the diner, and keep my anxiety down as much as possible.

It's already starting to get cold here, and we have had to turn our heat on a few times in the past week. Not being used to it, I got a mild sore throat for a couple days, and ever since then, I have been on edge about every tiny little thing happening in my body and have convinced myself several times that I am coming down with some illness. I'm seriously frustrated with myself. I don't think I have been working hard enough at fighting these irrational thoughts. I've been neglecting affirmations. I'm going to take a list of them with me on this car trip so that they will be easily accessible if/when I get anxious.

"I don't need these thoughts. I can choose to think differently."

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